Expect It
I use that phrase almost as a mantra to keep my own cool when my kids continue doing what kids do. They will forever argue with each other. I try and try and try till I’m blue in the face to teach them how to get along but expecting that they will, only brings me more frustration and pain. When I expect that they will do exactly what they do, then I can more easily control my reaction to their behavior and show up as the kind of mom I want to be. Instead of an exasperated mess.
Realistic expectations helps keep us focused on where we have control; ourselves. We can’t control other’s behavior. We do have a responsibility as parents to teach and hold limits but expecting obedience is setting ourselves up for a life of frustration and disappointment. I love it when my kiddo wakes up pleasant and gets out the door to school with no problems but when I expect that is how the morning is going to go, then I am all sorts of annoyed when he is grumpy and uncooperative. When I expect that he’ll wake up on the wrong side of the bed because I got him to bed too late last night, I can more easily stay in compassion for his experience instead of self pity for my experience.
We know our children’s patterns. We know how they’ll react to things. That can empower us to be ready to handle life in a more calm way. Expecting that they will do what we want actually disempowers us because we don’t actually have control of their actions. But no matter what they do or don’t do, we can control the way we interpret that and how it makes us feel and show up.
