Heard and understood

Everyone just wants to be heard, acknowledged, and ideally even understood. You, your kids, your spouse, even your own brain. If you are engaged in a power struggle, it is because you are trying to be heard more than you are listening. Dropping the rope is super easy. Close your mouth and open your ears. Once the person on the other side of the rope is heard, they drop the rope also. End of war. Peace has arrived.

When our agenda is to be heard, we start nagging, repeating ourself, even yelling because we are trying to be heard. When our child’s agenda is to be heard, they are doing the same thing. Doesn’t work so well, does it. Your agenda is valid. You have important things to share and they need to be heard. But so does your child. So take turns. You go first. Listen. Everyone just wants to be listened to. Once you’ve listened, they are more likely to listen also. They will hear you better if you’ve heard them first.

Try it. It’s like magic. Just listen first. You’re welcome!