“If You Ask Me To”

I am ALL about making requests and meeting your own needs. We need to take care of ourselves in marriage and as a Mom. No one else knows what we need if we don’t even know. And no one can make us happy. We need to figure out what we need in terms of self care etc. And empty bucket can’t fill others, right? It has been a 7 year quest for me to figure this out. What does fill my bucket? What can I do for myself? I don’t want to be a martyr but between feeling guilty and overwhelmed, I was a bit of a mess and even just last night I decided to stop whining to my husband about it all. He has enough to deal with without me dumping my emotional garbage on him after a long day for both of us.

I’ve been telling my kids forever that whining and crying is not how you get what you need. But I never applied that to myself. I have needs and I’ve been whining and crying to have him meet them for me. I need to figure out what they are and then make sure I get them. Just like I don’t have to be mad to hold limits with my kids, I don’t have to be resentful and grumpy to get what I need in my marriage either.

Moms are taking care of others needs all day long. and sometimes all night long also. But let’s not neglect ourselves and our needs in the process. You wouldn’t leave one of your kids out to dry, don’t forget yourself. No one else knows what you need as well as you do.

I’m happy to help anyone with anything when they ask me nicely. I am frequently singing Celine’s “If You Ask Me To” song to them. That’s all I need to do for myself. Just ask nicely. I don’t need to whine, complain, or play the victim. I am the hero of my own story!!