Relationship Above All
How is your relationship with your kid? Each of them individually if you have more than one. How would you rate it on a scale of 1-10? If it’s not an 11, then we have work we can do. We are imperfect humans so we have “work we can do” in a thousand different areas of our lives. And that’s what life coaches help you with. You could have a coach to help you with fitness or finances or anything else you can think of. But what good is it to have all the money in the world and all the health you could dream of if your relationships are suffering?
I want you to LOVE your relationship with your kids. I know you love you kids. Everyone loves their kids. It’s just part of the deal. But are you actually feeling the emotion of love in regard to your child throughout the day? Or are you feeling frustrated, irritated, annoyed, even rage and anger? One of our goals is to put Love all over your “model”. We want to think loving thoughts in order to feel love and then show up from love in our action line. Where are you on a scale of 1-10 at doing that?
Take out a piece of paper and write down any and everything (without editing!) that comes to mind for your about your child. Now look at that paper. That is your relationship with your kid. Your thoughts about him. The way you think about your children matters! If causes your feelings which drive your actions. We usually just try to control our (and our child’s) behavior but the thought/feeling combo that come before the actions is where you actually can get leverage in making changes. Genuine changes. Not just pretending or forcing yourself to try to show up a certain way.
So. Say you are struggling to help your kid do his homework. He doesn’t want to do it. (you don’t either!) so you are stuck in a power struggle. And we are all about dropping the war on those power struggles. One way I’ve found to help me drop my end of the rope is to think “relationship above all”. What am I trying to accomplish in this moment? That he does his homework. But why? So he can get better at math. But why? What if he doesn’t? He may get worse grades or be behind in some way at school? And why would that be so terrible? Now take that answer and put it against the resulted relationship you will have if this power struggle fight continues how it’s going. Is it worth it? Would you honestly rather him get better at his multiplication table or have a good relationship with you? Ideally you can have both and we can get you there but if the emotions are running high and the actions are damaging, you may choose to let the math go in favor of the love nourishing instead.
Does that make sense? If you want to plug in your exact examples and get the transformation for yourself, pick a time here to chat with me on zoom and I can help you start improving your relationships right away. And I can tell you about my 8 week coaching program where you will make a full transformation to believing that you are a good mom and show up that way. It’s not as daunting as you may be thinking. It’s actually really fun and sooooo rewarding and worth it! These kids are growing up so fast, let me help you savor it all.
