Patience
All of the moms that I talk to want to have more patience. We hope and pray for it and we beat ourselves up when we don’t use it. We think that some people are just blessed with more of it than others and that if we don’t have enough, we are less-than as a mom. So, how do we get more patience? Amazon sure doesn’t deliver it, this I know. I can order most other things and they are delivered to my door within two days but this patience stuff is much harder to come by.
I’ll tell you the secret to patience and if you’ve read any of my other blogs, you will roll your eyes, because it is in fact, the secret to most things. Thoughts cause feelings!
Patience is a feeling which means it comes from our thoughts. So to generate more patience, we need to think more patient thoughts. There ya go. Now you have the secret, enjoy your bountifully patient life as a mother! Ha! I know it’s not that easy. But it really is that simple.
For example, if my son asks me for milk and I have adult temper tantrum thinking “I JUST sat down! My kids need me all day! I never get a second to myself!” (That’s actually 3 thoughts which could produce three different emotions, but we’ll go with it for the sake of the example) then we will feel irritated or frustrated or some other impatient emotion which will drive actions along with that adult tantrum like being snippy, nagging, yelling, complaining, which ultimately gives us the result of not being that patient mom we are trying to be. So we “white knuckle” it. We think that we can change our actions and be more patient next time, but without changing our thought/feeling combination driving that action, it just doesn’t work and the cycle perpetuates. We need to slow it all down and examine what we are thinking that is making us so impatient and (patiently ;) practice thinking new thoughts.
Again, I know it is easier said that done but it is possible. It just takes a lot of intentional, deliberate work to actually make it happen. Our brains are used to thinking what they’ve always thought so we are forging brand new neuropathways and that takes some effort but even as adults, science has found that our brains are neuroplastic so they can change. This is what I help my clients with. Identifying the thoughts that are making them impatient, and nurturing new thoughts that build patience. It can be done! And I can help.
