How to Build Connection
We all want to have a better connection with our kids. So we try to spend time with them, get into their world, do what they like, let them drive the play, give them our full attention. These things are absolutely awesome and we can keep doing them. But what if you’re already doing those things and still aren’t feeling connected?
That’s because connection doesn’t come from what you’re doing. It comes from what you’re thinking. You feel connected to your kiddos when you think kind loving compassionate thoughts about them. So even while you’re spending special time with them, you aren’t building your own connection if you’re thinking about your to do list or how much you hate being bossed around by a two year old or any number of other places your brain could be.
Just like with love, connection doesn’t jump out of our heart and into our child’s. We can’t make them feel anything. Their emotions come from their thoughts. We can do our best to influence that but when we try to control them, it makes us crazy.
So, what’s the secret to connection? yeah, yeah, Emily, I know, you say this all the time, it’s my thoughts.
yes! but it really is!! Just trust me on this and try it out this week. Notice what your predominant thoughts even are. Do those thoughts cause connection or contention?
Let’s continue to put our focus on what we do have control over, ourselves. It’s so challenging to control our own minds, that we think it’d just be easier to control others behaviors so that we don’t have to do the heavy lifting. But that just doesn’t work. We can do hard things!
It’s soooo worth it! The amazing love and connection you feel towards your child makes any effort pale in comparison.
