Do you feel like you’ve tried it all?

You’ve read all the books, blogs, listened to the podcasts and seen all the video trainings but nothing seems to work? You’ve done sticker charts and skittles bribes. You’ve tried time outs and taking away privileges. But your kids are still kids, right? How come we can’t make these little people behave like big people? Isn’t that our job? To teach kids how to behave like adults? Well, when you put it like that, yeah, that sounds a bit ridiculous… Then what is our job exactly as parents?

I believe that our job is just to love. I mean, really love our children. The way our Heavenly Parents love us. I know you love your kids but how often are you actually feeling the emotion of love? Our feelings come from our thoughts. What are your thoughts about your kiddos? Are those thoughts making you feel love or are you thinking things that make you feel frustrated, irritated, and annoyed?

Your child is a person with their own agency. All the power struggles come from our agency butting against their agency. I will help you drop the war on those power struggles by respecting your child’s agency and stepping into your own power.

We all want to have good relationships with our kids. I focus on connection for cooperation. Kids inherently want to please us and they will do what we ask if we have built the connection first. When we respect our kids, they will respect us back. Imagine treating an adult the way you treat your kids. You would never. Yes, you are the parent but really think about what that means and what that doesn’t entitle you to do. Jesus said love everyone. Treat them kindly too. Every one. Especially those that we are the closest to. Threats, bribes, punishments, rewards, etc are used to manipulate our children’s behavior and sometimes they work but at what expense? These tactics teach children extrinsic motivation but if you want them to be intrinsically motivated, you need to let them learn from their own natural consequences. Obviously choices have consequences but we don’t need to make up punishments to teach that to our kids cause it doesn’t work. Our made up consequences just make our kids think thoughts that makes them mad at us. But if we let them experience the natural feelings that come from making bad choices, they will feel within themselves what is right and wrong. If your son hits your daughter and she cries, he will feel bad. He is a good boy and doesn’t want to hurt his sister. If you intervene, you interrupt that natural learning and then he is mad at you for punishing him and his little brain doesn’t connect that punishment with his behavior.

Whenever I go to God for help with my parenting, I always get the same answer “Just Love”. It sounds so simple but it is a life long pursuit and it is the whole reason we’ve come to this earth life. To learn how to love. Really love. With our thoughts, feelings, and actions. It is the answer to everything. You cannot spoil your child with too much love. Love will always get you the best results.