It’s Not A Problem

I’ve been coached plenty of times on the way I show up with my kids. I want to be a chill, fun, happy, peaceful Mom. Do you know anyone that fits that description? Even 50% of the time? Maybe part of my delusion comes from the fact that I was the “fun Aunt” for so long before I had kids. Somehow it was a lot easier to be the kind of mom i wanted to be as an aunt than it is with my own actually children. What is up with that?! Anyway, I make it mean a lot of things when i don’t show up the way i want to. That’s why I’m so familiar with this dropping the mom guilt process that i’ve been teaching here. I am constantly in these processes. But when I get coached on it, my coaches are always trying to help me see that it’s not a problem. What?! How can it not be a problem that i’m so grumpy when it comes to anything food related- that’s a majority of the day!? How can it not be a problem that i’m totally traumatizing my kids with my emotional childhood ways that i just can’’t snap out of. How can it not be a problem that my “A line” is a total disaster sometimes?

Well, I may not be all the way there in believing that it’s not a problem but i’ll share a few ideas that are trying to take seed in my mind to help. One tip is to broaden my lens. When i’m hyper focussed on my mistakes, i lose the big picture. The eternal perspective that we are all here as flawed humans who are here to have a learning experience. I would learn nothing if i was perfect and my kids would learn nothing if i was perfect. it’s all perfectly orchestrated for us to be imperfect. I believe that. And that makes it easier to have grace for myself in the rough times and motivates me to do better next time knowing that it’s all a process of improvement and not at all expected for me to be perfect. So, i guess in an eternal perspective, It’s not a problem after all.