Fearing the Future

In analyzing where most of my mom guilt has come from, the majority of the thoughts are focused on fearing the future. Let’s take yelling at our kids for example. After you yelled, you felt guilty. Why? Cause you don’t want to yell at your kids. Why? It’s not nice and it’s not the kind of mom or person you want to be but why so guilty? What are we afraid will happen if we yell at our kids? We’re afraid of the experience that the child is having. We worry that we will scar them for life. That they will be forever traumatized and need therapy the rest of their lives and it’s all your fault. Close? That’s the fear of the future that brings the mom guilt. So let’s look at those thoughts. Is it true that you might be scarring your child and they’ll need therapy forever because of how you showed up as a mom? Yes. That could be true. So why is that so bad? Maybe that’s just part of the plan. Part of how it goes In this fallen world with imperfect humans raising other humans. We all just do our best but of course we’re goi g to screw it all up. Maybe that’s not a problem. Maybe it’s not something we need to feel guilty about but rather accept as part of your child’s experience in this life. Maybe it’s not a problem. Maybe the learning and growth that comes from your imperfections is exactly what they need so no need to feel guilty about it and for sure no shame.