AND You’re STILL a Good Mom!
When I tell you that you ARE a Good Mom, what evidence does your brain come up with to argue that fact with me? Think of one of the times this week (maybe just this morning) where you thought that the circumstance meant that you are not a good mom. Maybe your kids are not dressed or fed and it’s 10 am. Maybe your toddler is throwing his blocks after you’ve told him a million times that we don’t do that. Maybe the siblings are squabbling. still! Maybe the house is a wreck. Take any example that you think qualifies you as a bad mom and add this magic phrase to the end… “AND I’m STILL a Good Mom.” to the end of it. Try it with me…
“I have too much bacon and no sausage in the freezer cause i can’t keep track of the food inventory and i keep ordering what we already have and forget to order what we need, AND I’m STILL a Good Mom”
“My daughter literally just screamed at the top of her lungs that I’m the worst Mom ever, AND I’m STILL a Good Mom.”
“My kids are so loud, so messy, still fighting after i told them to stop a million times, AND I’m STILL a Good Mom”
“My house is a wreck even though i feel like all i do is pick up after kids all day, I haven’t had a shower in who knows how long, and my kids ate ramen noodles for breakfast, AND I’m STILL a Good Mom.”
What did this exercise do for you? Without the extra phrase on the end, how did you feel? When you think about the messy house and make it mean that you are failing as a mom you feel discouraged and the house gets messier. When you think about the kids fighting and you don’t make it mean that you are a terrible mom but just that your kids are being kids. They are learning how to interact with other humans in this tricky life, they are doing the best they can and so are you, then you still have some bandwidth left to self regulate and then help them do the same. again!
There are no magic silver bullets that solve everything but whenever you feel the ugly but very familiar shame monster in your head trying to tell you that their behavior means that you are a bad mom, try this brain hack and remind yourself that you ARE STILL a Good Mom! And then because you believe it, you be it! Good Luck my friend, you’ve got this!
